Its just the beginning but it feels like the end

One of the most frustrating things about this journey is I must have had Ulcerative Colitis for years without realising it – or calling it Endometriosis – but now that its here, its like it wont go away. And I keep telling myself that I cant give up because its just the beginning, but some days (like today) are harder to keep the glass half full. I wake up anticipating that things will be bad, am happy that they are considerably manageable, get angry when I feel full but cant poop, feel perplexed when drugs arent working, and then feel exhausted from feeling all of these emotions.

I found a support group for IBD here in Vancouver and will be attending a session next month. Im excited for it although I wish there were more people on the facebook support groups who were willing to ‘support’. I had my challenges with the endometriosis facebook groups, cant seem to find many for UC, and the luck of finding one for both were so slim I created one myself. Just me babbling on there like I do here, hoping someone is readying and saying ‘amen sister!’.

I find the one thing that keeps me from exploding is taking 5 minutes to just turn off the world, breathe, forget about what each part of my body is feeling, and just let go. 5 minutes. I dont allow myself much more than that these days for fear I will fall into a rut, but that 5 minutes is golden. If you are reading thing, I encourage you to do the same.

For those of you who are into, or thinking about, essential oils, I plan on posting something on here tomorrow but let me tell you my new best friend is lavender oil, the ZenGest from DoTerra and the ‘spray the bitch away’ from Frankie and Myrrh (sold on Etsy).

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