My Endo Treatment Journey

Creating a new ‘normal’

I asked my mom the other day ‘do you still believe everything happens for a reason?”. She hesitated as the question came out of the blue. I asked again, ‘do you think my endo is happening for a reason?’ and like every optimistic mother would say she replied “I think its a blip. I hurdle.”. I savoured those words for as long as i could and as soon as I had a good day I went out and tried to be as normal as possible. It lasted three whole hours. I had a beer, a burger, all the things I shouldnt. I lived it up.

But as luck would have it the diarrhea kicked in and the pain was endless. I walked home as quickly as I could. Yes I should not have had the beer or the burger but I wanted to be my old self. And thats when I realized, nobody can predict if this is a blip. This is the new me and I need to create a new norm. No more trying to be my old body with my old habits. This cant be a binge and purge life. I need to set new standards and new boundaries. And thats ok. Because the pendulum wont swing so far from good days to bad days. Maybe that way, when I have good days and I try to go back to the ‘good days’ me it wont be so far off from the ‘bad days’ me.

Utterly frustrated and trying to be optimistic.

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One thought on “Creating a new ‘normal’

  1. I can’t tell you how much I relate to this post. It feels like such a betrayal when you try and be normal and eat your favourite things and your body resents you for it. The good days will come round again though! Hope you’re feeling better today x

    Like

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